Home base, the cock has come to roost… I repeat, the cock has come to roost!

The ADSL install is done, complete, finished. I’m almost on top of the switch, so my speeds are excellent.

The installer was an older, knowledgeable guy who was impressed that I did everything for him short of installing the filter in the telephone interface. He was even nice enough to list this as a repair rather than an install, so I shouldn’t get charged a penny for it. If it shows up on my bill, I’m to — and I’m quoting here — "Call and give them a hard time about it… I did hardly anything. Threaten to cancel your service. Make a fuss, they’ll drop the charges." How the fuck cool was this guy? Telling me how to scam the company he works for.

So, watch out. I’m wired in my new house, and looking to do some damage.

Oh, and 448 pieces of mail retrieved from my server later, and a whopping 6 of them were not spam.  And only over the course of four and a half days.  Impressive.

Boiled shrimp, chicken alfredo, blueberry wine, cigars, arcade gaming, The Nightmare Before Christmas and a dangerous conglomeration of fatigue toxins and Pounders’ methane. This is a meager example of the cross-section of what our guests delighted in at the get-together on Saturday.

Our house, while not completely organized and straightened up from the (continuing) move, is still in good enough shape to actually do some entertaining. All I can say is this… we warned everyone that once we got a house of our own and all our shit out of storage, that we would be a force to be reckoned with. By all accounts everyone had a good time. We have a metric ass-ton of stuff to keep everyone entertained — a comfy smoking area, arcade games, computers, televisions, quiet areas to go and talk as well as large communal areas to congregate and hang-out. Guess what folks… this was just a warm-up for the actual Halloween party on Friday.

I’d like to thank everyone who came and helped/hung out, no matter how long they stayed. A great big "gracias!" goes out to everyone who chipped in some food and drink, most notably to my in-laws who came through with a massive amount of shrimp to boil. They’ve both done so much to help us with the house — financially and physically — that I don’t think I can ever thank them enough… and then they keep surprising us with treats like this.

We had some very noteworthy absences, namely Krazy, GonzO, Heather, Jen and Will. Krazy was likely chewing on the bar at work in mute frustration that he couldn’t attend. GonzO and Heather refused to come, leaning heavily on their "We live thousands of miles away" excuse. Again. But, I understand they did a hefty amount of partying of their own. Jen managed to damn near twist her foot off, and Will had to be on hand to "tend" to her, so, I guess I’ll accept that as an excuse. This time. We drank a toast to you all, as undeserving as you were of it.

It’s official, I’m without internet at home for a very little while — which is good, I guess, seeing as my computers and the associated paraphernalia are sitting in piles on the floor of the den. I should be back on the air come Thursday evening… provided the ADSL installer isn’t a total incompetent jizz-rope. The chances are pretty good that he will be, judging from my past history, both personally and professionally, with communication installers. *sigh*

Pumpkin Carving Party. Thursday. 7:00pm. Be there.

We have ten pumpkins to mutilate, and they’re on a first-come-first-serve basis. In the event that we have more pumpkins than willing participants, then we will shackle you to the ironwork on the patio and force you to slave over another. Mwa-ha-ha! *ahem* We have plenty of patterns and tools. Bring yo’sef and anything special you might require. No chainsaws, please. Oh, and somebody tell Sancho, as I have lost his cell number and he apparently doesn’t read blogs too often.

Halloween approacheth-eth. Eth… eth. Hmm, a bit tricky on the tongue there. Doesn’t ring right.

Halloween’s a-coming, and we still have a dire need to decorate for the up-and-coming party — owing to the fact that we’re still moving the last of our shit into the new house, and I took on a handful of last-minute projects that are crashing to a completion.

Lady and I have invited a number of folks to come over this Saturday evening (October 25th) to lend a hand decorating, and this is the official invite to everyone we have/have not asked to come. We’re looking to have folks over at about 7:00pm or 8:00pm. Just let me know via comment or phone call. And yes Pounders, you and your dike-y short hair can come and play on Pac-Man and the Nintendo PlayChoice… Raul too if he likes — hell, everyone is welcome to play. I just need to vacuum the dust off of them.

** ADDENDUM START **

First, the official title of this little gathering is the "Holy Shit, We’ve Been Too Busy To Decorate" party. There, happy now Mensa?

Second, if those of you who are coming to decorate can afford to bring a bag of chips, pack of drinks (soft-drinks or beer) or something to add to the communal sip/snack pile, we would greatly appreciate it. We have some chips, drinks and beer, but I’d like to be sure everyone has enough to keep them satisfied. Thank you. Message ends.

** ADDENDUM END **

We can also make this our official annual Nightmare Before Christmas screening as well, which will be followed up by as many horror/horrible movies as we have in our movie collection (Bad Taste anyone?). Snap, chances are we might still be there when you get off — call and see.

A great big "Holy shit! This is pretty damned cool — thank you guys so very much!" goes out to Steve and Harold for the Halloween/housewarming present they care-packaged to us from sunny, sunny California. I guess their overwhelming guilt at not being able to attend our Halloween party — again — grabbed hold of them. It’s a fantastically gi-normous haunted house with groovy flashing lights and a spooky witch that spins around the tower. Once again, thanks a heap guys, and we’ll be calling y’all tonight to thank you in a non-virtual manner. I bet everyone can guess what our party centerpiece is going to be this year.

Side note: Saturday or Sunday we transport our computers to the new house and will be without internet communications until Thursday, October 30th. While Lady and I can certainly keep up with all our daily nonsense from work, it will definitely only be from work. Expect us to be a little scarce in the digital realm until Thursday.

Well, the worst of the move is over.  Saturday we got every scrap out of storage.  There wasn’t so much as a mouse turd left to take out of there.  We then went and loaded up some of the most $diety-awful heavy shit from my mother’s house — namely Pac, a hexagonal picnic table, a crawfish table, a table saw, an antique dental chair and two monster televisions.  We then proceeded to haul all that shit into the new house.  Fun.  And permanent disfigurement.

Sunday, I loaded up the rest of the crap from the garage, the side yard (including the BBQ pit) and the attic.  Once again, fun was had by all.  And lifelong emotional scarring.  That was a free bonus.

I would like to send a hugeamongus "thank you, thank you, in the name of all that is good and holy, thank you" out to my fellow members of the Goon Squad™: Krazy, Pounders, Raul, Snap and Mensa.  Without their raw muscle, I would have never moved our monumental amount of seemingly concrete-weighted crap into the new house.  Krazy even went without sleep for 120 hours, and he still showed up to help — bright eyed and full of lethal hallucinations.

You know, I’m looking forward to a morning when I can wake up and get out of bed without having to roll and thump off of the mattress because my back feels like my vertebrae have fused, and my liver is trying to escape by chewing it’s way through my spine.  A morning without stiffness and pain.  What a novel fucking idea.  Call Ripley, he ain’t gonna believe that, and he might make it an exhibit in one of his cheesy museums.

Now comes the part of moving where you spend an eternity trying to find a place to unpack all your shit to.  Some spots are obvious — "Well Martha, quite frankly I think the sofa would look better if it weren’t mounted to the side of the fridge. — but, inevitably you have shit in boxes that you forgot you owned, and now you need the perfect nook to stick it in.  This is our own little game of hide-and-go-seek.

So, until we’re completely moved in, expect more of this sort of nonsense from me.  The house and the move are all-consuming activities.  Until I have a weekend to lay around in my pajamas watching DVDs, it ain’t done.

It is at this moment that I shall step up on soapbox marked "Organized Religion".  This one is radically different from the one generically marked only "Religion".

I would like to send a great big "FUCK YOU, YOU IGNORANT, CONTROLLING, PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS!" to the catholic church, it’s leaders, the pope and every toady little fucker in a pointy hat that operates beneath him.

I mean, what the fuck is this all about?  I’ll tell you what.  It’s another case of the catholic church turning its eyes away from the blazing torch and claiming that there is only darkness, just so it can continue to further its own agenda.  Anyone who doesn’t agree with them is going to burn in hell because they aren’t following The Rules.

They are poking their finger in the chest of sound, proven medical research and saying that it is wrong.  Not only that, they are poisoning the minds of their own flock into believing that condoms, the only proven method to help prevent the spread of HIV excluding abstinence, is not only a bad thing to do from a catholic/birth control aspect, but is also ineffective and more dangerous than not using a condom at all.

Excuse me?  Would you care to run that by me again?  Did your god tell you this Johnnie-boy?  Are we going through some sort of Old Testament phase again?  Is your god angry at the new and improved Sodom and Gomorrah that the world has become today – gonna’ turn us into pillars of salt is he?  I guess that wearing a condom is the metaphorical version of looking back, then.

They are preaching this far and wide.  They are telling the world, but especially those 42 million people currently infected with HIV that if they are catholic, and they use a condom that they are acting against god’s will.

Look, this is taking fundraising entirely too far.  I can understand the twisted logic behind "build a bigger financial base through sheer volume of contributors", but this is too much.  Guess what?  If your constituency starts dying off, you start losing money.

Cripes, they’re almost as bad as the christian scientists.  But that is a blog for another day.

This sort of crap makes my human soul feel very tired.  It’s as though there is a prohibition of base sanity in the world, and I’m one of the bootleggers.  Well, let’s all go to the gin joint for a drink before they kick in the doors and crack open all the barrels.

*steps off of soapbox, lights a torch and wanders off into the darkness*

The horn sounds in the distance.  Your blood races and your weapons rattle, eager for battle.  It’s moving time.

We’re scheduled to move all of our junk out of storage and the big pieces from my mom’s house on Saturday, October 11th and Sunday, October 12th.  The main day will be Saturday.  I’ve reserved a rental truck for both days, and I intend to make as few trips as possible.  Lady and I will be making as many single trips during the week as we can to ease the burden for this weekend.

Anyone joining us in this battle needs to announce their intentions to do so, and I’ll get you the super fine details.  This is a voluntary mission.  No one is obliged to step up, and our feelings will not be hurt if you opt out.  I only want people who are doing this out of the kindness of their hearts, not because they think they owe us anything.  Moving is a bitch and I don’t wish it on anyone.

I get the truck at 8:00am on Saturday, and the storage place opens at 8:30am.  We intend to be there bright and early.  Join in as you see fit.  I’ll get you my cell number, and you can call me to see where we are in the fray.

Ok folks, I know someone out there can help me with a problem I’m having. I need an electrician. One who is licensed (yes, actually licensed) to do work in New Orleans. Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

I figure it this way. With all the people in our community here, someone is bound to be friends with, related to or knows of a reliable electrician who won’t burn my house down, and who won’t bend me over and rape me on the price. The work I have to do is relatively simple — no running of wire, no (or minimal) crawling under a house. It’s not dirty work, rather easy for someone in that field.

If you have any influence, I would be eternally grateful if you could exert it for my benefit to get a good price and timetable. Likely there will be a good meal, fine wine and eternal gratitude in it for anyone who can deliver on this request.

End alert. That is all.