This is a passage from Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett that I found extremely amusing. I am an unwashed heathen, and have some very strong opinions on religion and those who have it. I have a great deal of admiration for people who have the stones to stand behind their faith or lack thereof, who firmly believe – or don’t – with all their heart. The majority of the people with their ass on a pew are doing it just to hedge their bet, or keep up appearances, not because of an unshakeable belief. That, my friends is called hypocrisy.
"This Om … anyone seen him?"
"It is said three thousand people witnessed his manifestation at the Great Temple when he made the Covenant with the prophet Brutha and saved him from death by torture on the iron turtle–"
"But I bet that now they’re arguing about what they actually saw, eh?"
"Well, indeed, yes, there are many opinions–"
"Right. Right. That’s people for you. Now if I’d seen him, really there, really alive, it’d be in me like a fever. If I thought there was some god who really did care two hoots about people, who watched ’em like a father and cared for ’em like a mother … well, you wouldn’t catch me sayin’ things like ‘there are two sides to every question‘ and ‘we must respect other people’s beliefs.‘ You wouldn’t find me just being gen’rally nice in the hope that it’ll all turn out right in the end, not if that flame was burning in me like an unforgivin’ sword. And I did say burnin’, Mister Oats, ‘cos that’s what it’d be. You say that you people don’t burn folk and sacrifice people anymore, but that’s what true faith would mean, y’see? Sacrificin’ your own life, one day at a time, to the flame, decarin’ the truth of it, workin’ for it, breathin’ the soul of it. That’s religion. Anything else is just … is just bein’ nice. And a way of keepin’ in touch with the neighbors."