Temperature: 225°

Start with a 4 – 5 LB chicken.

Optimally, first brine the chicken for 1 hour per pound. Use ⅓ of the turkey brine recipe for one chicken, ½ if doing two, in an appropriately sized container.

Rinse and pat dry the chicken. Brush lightly with olive oil and apply the rub, both above and below the skin. Allow to sit at room temperature for no more than 30 minutes.

Smoke, breast side down for 1½ – 2 hours, flip and finish (for an approximate total of 1 hour per pound of chicken, or until the breast is 165° and the thigh is 180°). If so desired, you can finish the chicken in the oven at 400° for 5 – 10 minutes to crisp up the skin.

Optionally you can smoke at 275° for 1½ – 3 hours or until the breast is 165° and the thigh is 180°, starting with the breast side down and flipping at the 1 hour mark. This should also yield a crispy skin without the need to finish in an oven.

Allow the chicken to rest for 5 – 10 minutes before serving.

Temperature 275

Bring the stock and bay leaves to a simmer in a small pot.

Chop the oysters finely (a food processor works well for this) and sauté until cooked through and set aside. Brown off the beef and pork and set aside. In the same pot sweat the onions, celery, garlic and chopped parsley in the butter and deglaze the bottom of the pan as you do. Once the onions are translucent, add the oysters, meat, breadcrumbs and oyster water and combine well. Add hot stock and combine until moist, but not wet. You may not use the entire quart.

Transfer to a 9×13″ casserole dish and bake uncovered for 30 minutes or until top is slightly crispy. If the dressing is too wet after 30 minutes, stir and bake more moisture off at upwards of 350º. Garnish with parsley.

Serves 10.

Combine the hot water, kosher salt and brown sugar and stir until the salt and sugar dissolve completely. Add the ice and stir until the mixture is cool. Pour into your brining vessel of choice. Gently lower the turkey into the container. If necessary, weigh down the bird to ensure that it is fully immersed in the brine. Cover and set in a cool dry place for approximately 1 hour per pound of turkey.

Remove the turkey from the brine, rinse and pat dry. Allow to sit at room temperature for at least 1 hour prior to cooking.

Suggestions for brining vessels:

• 5-gallon upright insulated drink cooler or a 5-gallon bucket placed in an ice-chest, surrounded by ice
• Doubled-up disposable turkey oven bags will fit the 5-gallon cooler/bucket perfectly, and avoid the need to scrub and sanitize after.

Prepare the day before.

Combine the dry spices and grind to a very fine texture (an el-cheapo coffee grinder works well for this). Add all of the ingredients to a small saucepan and simmer for 5 minutes. Allow to cool then pour into a sealed container and store in the fridge overnight. If using with a small injector needle, strain the mixture using several layers of cheesecloth. Before using, re-mix the ingredients well, shaking vigorously or using an immersion blender to create a smooth emulsion.

If injecting into a turkey or chicken, use as few injection punctures as possible (6 – 8), instead moving the needle around within the meat to different zones during each puncture. Be sure to at least inject the breast from below, aiming for the cavity between the breast tenderloin and the top of the breast itself.

If possible, inject 2-6 hours before cooking.

Fuckers.

The old molding is already gone from around the doors and baseboards.  I’ve tested a spot on the ceiling that needed some TLC to ensure that we can simply wet the old popcorn texture down and scrape it right off (this worked surprisingly well!).  Tomorrow we start laying down sheeting on the floors and taping it along the walls at the ceiling line, so that we can start scraping the texture off in earnest.  Then we can re-texture the ceiling with something more pleasant and subtle (a knockdown texture, also known as a “California Ceiling”… it’s pretty much what’s on the walls already).

Then we paint.  Ceilings and walls, two coats each.  Anything will be better than the “beige available in 55 gallon drums” that’s on the walls now.

Here’s a pic to document the progress so far.  While not easily seen here, the stain brings out a gorgeous pattern in the birch, very reminiscent of ripples in water.  The maple trim on the front edges is ever so slightly lighter in shade than the birch, and I think it makes a nice accent.

The shelves are made from birch veneered ¾” plywood for strength and affordability, and the facing edges are being trimmed with ¼” clear maple.  I started with five sheets of 4′ x 8′ plywood and ripped it down to 9″ x 8′ strips, then cut those into the respective shelves and sides.  The trim started as 19 pieces of ¼” x ¾” x 10′ maple which was cut into appropriate lengths for the shelves and sides.

We’ve been assembling them one at a time in the evenings during the week, and stacking them in the dining room until we move onto the next phase: trimming/staining/sealing.  Basically, the trim needs to be routed flush with the sides and shelves as it’s a fraction of an inch wider than the plywood (useful for making aesthetic adjustments as you install it), and the nail holes need to be filled with wood putty and sanded.  The screw holes in the side have had birch plugs glued in to hide the screws, and those plugs need to be cut flush and sanded as well.

So basically, we’ve been slowly turning this…

… into this:

Oven: 450°

In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Using your fingertips, rub butter and shortening into dry ingredients until mixture looks like crumbs. (The faster the better, you don’t want the fats to melt.) Make a well in the center and pour in ~ 6oz of the chilled buttermilk. Stir just until the dough comes together. The dough will be very sticky. Add more of the chilled buttermilk if it seems too dry.

Turn dough onto floured surface, dust top with flour and gently fold dough over on itself 5 or 6 times. Press into a 1-inch thick round. Cut out biscuits with a 2-inch cutter, being sure to push straight down through the dough. Place biscuits on baking sheet so that they just touch. Reform scrap dough, working it as little as possible and continue cutting. (Biscuits from the second pass will not be quite as light as those from the first, but hey, that’s life.)

Bake until biscuits are tall and light gold on top, 15 to 20 minutes.

The Bakers Bill, not quite in it’s original form, was passed thanks to an 11th hour Hail Mary from some dedicated folks in the Texas Legislature.  After it died in the House, they snuck that bugger in as an amendment to a Senate bill, which was then approved by both the House and the Senate.

There were some serious shenanigans, though, on the part of the Harris County Department of Health who said that they would have their friends in the Senate beat the bill down like a dog that crapped on the carpet if the Cottage Foods portion of the bill didn’t omit four little words: “and at farmer’s markets”.  Those four little words, while not completely diminishing the effectiveness of the bill, did put a serious damper on where Cottage Food can be sold… namely only from the home of the maker.  Having said all that, the bill did pass, and it’s a huge foot in the door.  The same folks who fought so hard to get this bill passed, are going to use that foot in the door to kick it open a little wider in two years.  They are going to expand the language of the law, and whittle away at the limitations.  Expect me to start making noise about it when the time comes.

So, now having the legal right to operate above board and in the open, Curious Confections is now Curious Confections LLC, complete with an EIN number, and soon to be tax ID.  We can open a commercial bank account and accept payment made to the company name.  We’ll be able to buy materials wholesale — that’s just dangerous right there.  *grins* We can advertise online, list prices, and get our name out there without fear.

Beyond the bill and Curious Confections (LLC), we’ve been having a ball with the pup.  Esme’s growing up to be a very sweet, if not energetic, bundle of fuzz.  She’s edged a little over 40 pounds, and at 8 months old, she’s likely not far from her final size.  She’s lean and long legged, and runs like a bat out of hell when she gets a wild hair up her ass… them promptly passes out on the kitchen floor under the fan for 5 minutes to recharge her batteries.  If we sit still long enough, she flops onto our feet and catches some Z’s (she’s using my feet as a pillow as I write this)  – this dog loves her some contact with her people.  Since I’m a horrible dog papa, I don’t take nearly as many pictures as Sweets does, so I’ll direct you to her gallery of pics of the pup for some cockle warming adorableness.  I will, however, just leave this lying here:

In other news, after 6 years I’m starting to feel like I’m getting some of my creative spark back.  I’m not to pre-storm levels, but my drive to get off my ass and make shit is definitely in gear.  I’ve replaced a bunch of the power tools I lost in the storm, and I’m currently making six bookshelves for the living room.  Of course, I don’t want to put them in until I paint the living room.  Of course, I don’t want to paint the walls until I scrape all the obnoxious popcorn texture off the ceiling, patch a few cracks, re-texture with something pleasant, and paint that.  Of course, once all that’s done, I’d love to replace all the painted baseboard and door molding with new, natural wood molding… oh, and add crown molding while I’m at it.  Yeah, “Sir Stuff” is definitely making a comeback, and he’s not fucking around, is he?

More than just woodworking is on my plate.  I’m dabbling in watercolors again, making art for my mead and wine labels, and I’m working on some charcoal rubbings as well.  I’m also starting to make mats and frames for the mountain of prints/posters/art I’ve collected these last six years (ok, that’s some woodworking too).

I’m not the only one with a creative drive in this household, either.  Sweets has been a crafting whirlwind, trying things she’s not had a chance to, or hasn’t done in a long time.  I’m also teaching her how to do some basic woodworking as well, and getting her familiar and comfortable with the tools.  I expect to find her out there building shit on her own before long, and that’s just dandy.

Aaaand, I’m done.  Save some stuff for other posts, or it’ll be months before I post again.

Y’all stay sane.

So, as before, I’m practically begging everyone to call and/or email your Senator and ask that they support SB 81 — specifically supporting it “as is” with the current crop of amendments, as there is little to no time to make any more.  The passing of this bill is the best chance for Sweets to get a legal baking business off the ground without having to scrape up  thousands of dollars in additional fees.  If you would like to help, I ask that you do so very, very soon.

Find out who your Senator is HERE.  More info on the progress of the bill is HERE.