{"id":158,"date":"2007-07-18T12:18:00","date_gmt":"2007-07-18T18:18:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2008-09-16T15:16:56","modified_gmt":"2008-09-16T21:16:56","slug":"132","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/132","title":{"rendered":"Is This Thing On?"},"content":{"rendered":"

*opens the stage door and steps out in front of the brightly burning lights*
\n*brushes the cobwebs from the microphone and taps it to make sure it is still live*
\n*shades his eyes with his hand to see if there is even anyone in the audience*
\n*shrugs and takes a deep breath*<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, here I am again after *looks down at the previous post*<\/strong> three months, and a patchy record of posts before that.\u00a0 A lot has transpired in that amount of time.\u00a0 A LOT<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 Let me endeavor to fill in on some the comings and goings, and in no particular order:<\/p>\n

\u00bb Lady and I are officially divorced.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was mutually agreeably and uncontested. But… we are still very, very good friends.\u00a0 After nearly eighteen years together as a couple neither of us wanted to abandon the deep, abiding friendship we started at the beginning and forged all through our years together.\u00a0 We still love and respect one another, and care deeply for the other as one friend to another.\u00a0 We worked very hard to preserve that, and I think we’ve succeeded.\u00a0 People find this very strange indeed, but we figure that the only people who need to be cool with it is her and me.<\/p>\n

\u00bb I finally got off my ass and into gear.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have been steadily going to the gym and weightlifting since October of last year.\u00a0 I added cardio to my routine a month ago, and I’ve been adjusting my food intake to a more reasonable level, cooking more at home and bringing lunch to work.\u00a0 I’m still very hesitant to talk about health and exercise on the blog, as every time I have mentioned it in the past I seemed to have jinxed myself and fucked up my plans.\u00a0 I’m not going to go into great detail here on the intartubes, but suffice to say that I’m slowly and steadily changing my shape.\u00a0 No miracle stories to tell, and it\u2019s a lot of hard, tedious exercise, but that was the realization I finally came to and accepted it.<\/p>\n

\u00bb I’m happier and better adjusted than I have been in quite a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m not saying that I’m a perfect angel, content and sitting in my own little radiating pool of joy and wonderfulness, but the crushing depression and loneliness are like a fading bruise: still evident but gradually becoming a thing of the past.\u00a0 I realized recently that if I have one skill or talent that defines me, it is the capacity to take things apart, find out how they work… and if broken, figure out how to fix them and put them back together.\u00a0 It is the core of my nickname “Stuff” that I have the tools and aptitude to do this with anything I lay my hands on \u2014 computers, electronics, woodworking, cars, sculpting, etc. \u2014 and I did it, unknowingly, to myself\u2026 and plan to continue doing it till the end of my days.\u00a0 I disassembled myself and figured out what was making me hurt, causing such pain and anguish and… well I’m figuring out how to fix that.<\/p>\n

I’ve worked very hard to be an independent, self-reliant person, especially in an emotional capacity.\u00a0 I’m learning how to be happy with myself, and for myself.\u00a0 It’s easy to latch on to another person (or people) and make them the core of your joy.\u00a0 It’s so much simpler to lean on others, to derive your emotional comfort from them rather than seeking it in yourself.\u00a0 Once you can be comfortable and happy just being you, its so much more rewarding to compound your joy by adding someone else to the equation (if you so choose)… and it takes the overwhelming burden off their shoulders to be the wellspring of everything in your life that is good.\u00a0 And it also takes away the desperate, choking need to have another in your life and allows you to relax and appreciate the world around you.\u00a0 And on that note…<\/p>\n

\u00bb There is a girl who lives far away that makes me very, very happy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Those who know me know I never take the easy path when there is something worth doing.\u00a0 I am apparently consistent with this in my romantic life too.\u00a0 Through means and circumstances too convoluted to bother with here \u2014 let’s just say “we met on the internet” and leave it at that modern day clich\u00e9 \u2014 I have become well acquainted with a charming, beautiful girl who lives 5000 miles and an ocean away from me.\u00a0 She has the sweetest English accent, the loveliest curves, and I am completely smitten… so is she by all accounts.\u00a0 She’s smart as a whip, sarcastic (read: a smartass), and she likes my shenanigans.\u00a0 She’s a breath away from a culinary degree \u2014 waiting for the ink to dry on the certificate \u2014 and has a specialty interest in patisserie (that’s French pastry to you and me) and cakes.\u00a0 Yes, cakes.\u00a0 Her goal is to open her own patisserie and cake shop.\u00a0 I keep trying to convince her there is a ripe market for it in Austin, and I happen to know an amateur specialty cake maker who would be very interested in assisting her with that endeavor.<\/p>\n

She has come to visit me, and we spent a blissfully wonderful week together.\u00a0 I am going to visit her in September (provided the passport I applied for two months ago ever arrives).\u00a0 Neither of us knows for sure where we’re going with all of this, but we like the road we’re traveling, so we’re content to stay on it.\u00a0 Even from 5000 miles away we contribute to each others happiness.\u00a0 That’s an awesome thing.<\/p>\n

\u00bb Took a trip to northern California.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Went with Team Dandy and Lady to get the native’s tour.\u00a0 Had a lovely time, will have to make a separate post about this… too much to say, and I have tons of pictures I can add.\u00a0 Stay tuned.<\/p>\n

That, er, is about all I can think of in this sitting… like you aren’t thinking “that’s plenty, you long winded bastard<\/em>.”\u00a0 I make no promises, but I’m feeling inclined to post these days.\u00a0 My life has leveled out of the steep nose dive it had taken, and I’m feeling comfortable in my own skin again.\u00a0 I’m also famously horrible at keeping in touch with my friends and family (yeah, I’m a terrible thuggish imbecile that I can’t even do that), and this at least will help scratch that itch.<\/p>\n

Onward and upward.\u00a0 Whee!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*opens the stage door and steps out in front of the brightly burning lights* *brushes the cobwebs from the microphone and taps it to make sure it is still live* *shades his eyes with his hand to see if there is even anyone in the audience* *shrugs and takes a deep breath* So, here I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,21,10,22,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-domestica","category-exercise","category-rambling","category-reflection","category-travel"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=158"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":588,"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions\/588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dmentd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}