Today has to be one of the most bi-polar days I have experienced in my life.
Ever.
First, I’ll start with the low so that I might end on an up tone. It’s also the proper chronological order of the day.
Lady and I have had two adorable, well mannered, and sweet little ferrets as pets for many years now — since they were kits. They are Silk and Fagan, and their ages are six and seven years old, respectively. That’s a pretty healthy age for ferrets to achieve — they are grand old dames.
Ferrets develop some nasty problems as they get older, and usually complications from these problems are what do them in. About a year ago, Silk had her spleen removed as it had become grossly enlarged, the size of a hot-dog, and that’s awfully big for a two pound ferret. She recovered quite well, becoming more active as she become accustomed to not having a mass that was about one third of her body mass lodged in her abdomen.
Not long thereafter, Silk was diagnosed with insulinoma (the opposite of diabetes), one of the big three diseases that ferrets develop as they become geriatric. The good news is it was treatable — for a while — but ultimately would be fatal. How long, who knows. Two months, two years. It was different for every critter. We started giving her medicine twice a day, and she rallied back quite well, but being the old maid that she was, she was moving a little slower. A few months later Fagan was also diagnosed with insulinoma, but hey, we were already old hands at administering medicine to the other fuzzy-butt so this was no problem.
About two months ago at a regularly scheduled visit, the Doc found a growth in Silk’s mouth and we had it tested. The results came back positive for cancer. We had two options available to us. Chemotherapy, which would only extend her life a little while but would destroy the quality of it, or let it go and keep her quality of life as high as we could. We chose to keep her comfortable and monitor her for pain or trouble until the inevitable day came that we would have to make the hardest choice we’ve had to make since Silk entered our lives.
Today was that day.
Two weeks ago, we had a scare and brought her to see the Doc. He noted that the cancerous tumor in her mouth had grown a bit, but not as much as he had expected. She was still quite active and she wasn’t exhibiting any signs of discomfort. He saw no reason that we couldn’t take her home and continue showering her with love for a while yet, but the clock was ticking. Fast.
The last few days found Silk more and more lethargic. This morning she was unresponsive for a while and had trouble eating her morning "treat" which is a concoction called Duck Soup, laced with her medicine. Lady decided to take her to work with her with the intent of getting her to the Doc, knowing that today might well be the day. Doc confirmed that Silk had reached a downward slope.
It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a while. Silk transcended mere pet status — she was family. I loved that little critter so much. Lady and I said our goodbyes. I stroked Silk’s back, let her know I loved her and apologized. I apologized for not being able to do more, and apologized for not being able to perform the god-like ability of eradicating her troubles and removing her cancer and insulinoma and letting her live an immortal life till the end of time. Instead, all I could do was exorcize the human-like ability to end her suffering before it had become overwhelming.
Today, Silk Liselle Matherne crossed the rainbow bridge, and now plays for eternity with all beloved pets that have gone before her. I love you, my little Silky-doo. Be good and play nice. You take a tiny nibble of my heart with you as you go.
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Now that I’ve got you all good and depressed, I’ll hit you with the good news for the day. Lady and I closed on our house today. It’s all legal and everything. We signed more documents than Lucifer himself would present to you to procure legal ownership of your soul. Ol’ pointy-tail ain’t got nothing on American property lawyers.
The last week had been a waiting game. We had all of our paperwork in order, and I kept feeling a sense of impending doom, as though we had forgotten or missed some crucial component. I was waiting for the jack-in-the-box to pop at the signing today.
"I’m sorry Mr. DmentD, you’re genetic test turned up a negative result in the "property ownership" chromosome field. We just got the results back from the lab five minutes ago. Put that pen down, you won’t need to sign any more documents today."
Instead, it all went smoothly in comparison to the road we traveled to get to this point. I didn’t even get so much as a writer’s cramp. Go figure.
We have just entered the next unique phase of this deal. We have to wait until next Tuesday before we can actually take possession of the house. The old couple we bought it from cannot vacate until Monday, as the retirement community they are moving to won’t be ready for them until then. No problem. We’ll just go quietly out of our minds until then, thinking of all the things we have to do before we put one stick of furniture in there, and all the money we have to spend to do it.
No problem. I can do it on my head.
Is it time yet? No? Damn. I fail.
Soon, my peoples, soon. There will be much fun to be had, games to be played, movies to be watched and general hanging out to be done.
Now, go and love your pets, or failing that, love someone else’s. That’s an order.
Pets are family. All six cats in this house I live in have distinct personalities, and even the ones that annoy the heck out of me are just like annoying little brat cousins that you love anyway. Domino is my absolute heart, and Minew, at the current age of 13 must remain immortal or I will end up a seriously depressed individual. The more you deal with animals you see just how unique each one is and how there will never be a replacement for them. I feel for you.
And on a better note, congrats on the house. Its only a week away.. thats not long at all really. It’ll fly by.
then i’m sad and happy for you.
Jesus. First my computer dies a thousand deaths all at once (seemingly), and now Silk.
This simply is not a good week.
My condolances (and I find myself missing Silk already, though my time spent with said furball has been incredibly short).
And my congratulations on the house.
Having been thru the dying pet thing (three times now) I know how you feel, and wish that there was anything I could do to help (here’s a hint, spoil Fagan more than she is already).
Ah, homeownership…having been thru that as well (twice, even), isn’t it amazing how no matter what you’re told or how many times you double, triple and quadruple check everything, you always get nervous at the big day. I could understand being nervous about the commitment (especially the financial one), but you (like I did) got nervous over shit that was already covered. Funny, eh?
I’m really sorry about your little one’s passing. The few times I got to spend with her were memorable, and I know it couldn’t have been easy to do what you had to do today.
I’m also really happy for your house closing (or whatever it is you call it). You guys are starting a whole new chapter in your lives with this. How exciting!
Love,
Heather
I am so sorry to read about your loss. I am at work reading this and getting teary eyed. I love both you guys and hope the good news about your house helps to ease the pain.
I’m sure Silk couldn’t have had a better life while on this Earth than the one you gave her.
~I hope time moves quickly to heal the hurt but the memories never fade.