This And That.

Just a few notes:

Twiddled with this site a bit.  The format is just a little wider — optimized for 1024 wide and beyond… I’d love to apologize to all you still running a desktop in microscopic mode, but I’m not.  Join us in this century of cheap, large monitors.

I bashed the gallery about the head and neck with a broken bottle.  The navigation bar over there on the left goes bye-bye when you enter the gallery,  giving me more space, and I took advantage of this new screen real estate, as well as refining some of the styling code — and consequently made it play nice with Internet Explorer.   As always, my header pic up top will bring you back to the main site from anywhere.

Finally… FINALLY, I finished the front-end for Curious Confections (it’s no longer just a parking space for a gallery).  Just a matter of getting off my ass and doing it.  That is now the official, semi-professional/semi-informal site for the baking projects and jobs that Sweets and I do.  It’s also the place to send people who want to see our work, and to send prospective customers.  *hint hint* I would appreciate anyone within the sight of my voice here to pimp us relentlessly to everyone you know, are acquainted with, pass on the street, etc — preferably in the Austin area.  Send them to Curious Confections — there is a distinct lack of foul language, and dick and fart jokes there to scare them off.  We want to bake yummy things for people!

That’s all I gots for now.

Say Cheese! *yarf*

So, you’re tucking into a nice dinner of ORLOTAN… maybe you’d like some CHEESE to go with that?

Because the larvae in the cheese can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in) when disturbed, diners hold their hands above the sandwich to prevent the maggots from leaping into their eyes.  Those who do not wish to eat live maggots place the cheese in a sealed paper bag.  The maggots, starved for oxygen, writhe and jump in the bag, creating a “pitter-patter” sound.  When the sounds subside, the maggots are dead and the cheese can be eaten.”

Now, please excuse me while I go be violently ill.

Caramel Corn – SB

  • 1 C popcorn kernels (unpopped)
  • 2 C light brown sugar
  • ½ C light corn syrup
  • 8 OZ margarine
  • ¼ TSP cream or tartar
  • 1 TSP salt
  • 1 TSP baking soda

Oven: 200° F

  1. Pop the popcorn accordingly, and set aside in a large deep pan (a roasting pan works well).
  2. In a 2½ QT saucepan melt the margarine and remove from the heat.
  3. Add the brown sugar, corn syrup, cream of tartar and salt. Mix well, then bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Cook to 260° F.
  4. Remove the mixture from the heat and stir in the baking soda quickly, but thoroughly.
  5. Pour at once over the popcorn and stir gently until all kernels are covered. Bake for 1 hour, stirring 2 to 3 times.
  6. Turn out at once onto a parchment lined sheet pan. Spread apart and cool completely. Break apart and store in an airtight container.

Pancakes – Alton Brown

“Instant” Pancake Mix:

  • 6 C (750 GR) all-purpose flour
  • 1½ TSP baking soda
  • 3 TSP baking powder
  • 1 TBS kosher salt
  • 2 TBS sugar
  1. Combine all of the ingredients in a lidded container.  Shake to mix.  Use the mix within 3 months.

Yields ~810 GR of dry mix.

Pancakes:

  • 2 eggs, separated
  • 2 C buttermilk
  • 4 TBS melted butter
  • 2 C (270) “Instant” Pancake Mix (recipe above)
  • 1 stick butter, for greasing the pan
  • 2 C fresh fruit such as blueberries (optional)
  1. Heat an electric griddle or frying pan to 350° F.  Heat oven to 200° F.
  2. Whisk together the egg whites and the buttermilk in a small bowl.
  3. In another bowl, whisk the egg yolks with the melted butter.
  4. Combine the buttermilk mixture with the egg yolk mixture in a large mixing bowl and whisk together until thoroughly combined. 
  5. Pour the liquid ingredients on top of the pancake mix. Using a whisk, mix the batter just enough to bring it together – don’t try to work all the lumps out.
  6. Check to see that the griddle is hot by placing a few drops of water onto to the griddle. The griddle is ready if the water dances across the surface.
  7. Lightly butter the griddle. Wipe off thoroughly with a paper towel (no butter should be visible).
  8. Using a 2 OZ ladle, gently ladle the pancake batter onto the griddle and sprinkle on fruit if desired.
  9. When bubbles begin to set around the edges of the pancake and the griddle-side of the cake is golden, gently flip the pancakes. Continue to cook 2 to 3 minutes or until the pancake is set.
  10. Serve immediately or remove to a towel-lined baking sheet and cover with another towel. Place in the oven to keep warm for up to 20 to 30 minutes.

Yields 12 pancakes.

NOTES: If you do not have buttermilk, you can make a substitute. For every 1 C of buttermilk, take 1 C of whole milk and add 1 TBS of white vinegar or lemon juice and allow to stand for five minutes.  Use as needed.

Chicken Fried Chicken With Cream Gravy

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 egg
1¼ C milk
¾ C water
2 C all-purpose flour
Cooking oil
½ TSP salt
¼ TSP ground black pepper
¼ TSP paprika
¼ TSP white pepper

Using the bottom of a small heavy saucepan as a wide mallet, flatten the chicken breasts to a uniform thickness — the idea is not to make them paper thin, just consistently the same thickness all around, and to tenderize them slightly.  To make this easier place the breast in a gallon size zip-top bag (left unzipped) or between two sheets of cling wrap.  This will keep your counter (and walls, and you) clean, and allow the meat to move and flatten easily without friction from the counter of saucepan.

Beat together the egg and ½ C milk and set aside.  Mix together the salt, black pepper, paprika and white pepper and sprinkle liberally on both sides of the chicken breasts.

Dredge the chicken breasts in the flour, shaking off the excess.  Then dip each piece in the egg/milk mixture, then back in the flour.  Set chicken pieces aside on a piece of waxed paper or parchment.

Pour the cooking oil into a large cast-iron or other heavy skillet to reach a depth of ½” and heat over medium-high heat to 350°.  Be sure to maintain this temperature during cooking by adjusting your heat appropriately.  The oil will cool rapidly when you first put the chicken in, so you’ll need to increase the heat for a bit directly after doing so.

With a long-handled fork or tongs, carefully place each chicken breast into the hot oil — in a 12″ skillet you’ll be able to cook two at a time without crowding the pan unnecessarily.  Cook for five minutes per side, or more importantly until you reach an internal temperature of 180°.  Remove the cooked chicken and drain on a cooling rack over a sheet pan or brown paper bag — don’t drain by setting chicken directly on paper towels or brown paper bags.

Cream Gravy:
Mix together the remaining ¾ C milk, and the ¾ C water.  Set aside.

After the chicken is removed from the pan, pour off all but about 2 tablespoons of oil, keeping as many as possible of the browned bits in the pan.  Heat the oil over medium heat until hot.

Sprinkle 3 TBS of the leftover flour from the chicken dredge into the hot oil.  Stir with a wooden spoon, quickly, to brown the flour and make a roux.

Gradually stir in the milk and water mixture, whisking constantly to remove lumps and make a smooth creamy mixture.  Lower the heat, and the gravy will begin to thicken.  Continue cooking and stirring until the gravy reaches your desired consistency.  Check seasonings and add more salt and pepper according to your taste.

Leeks, Grilled & Braised – Alton Brown

  • 4 large leeks (dark green sections removed)
  • 2 TBS bacon drippings
  • 1 TBS balsamic vinegar
  • Kosher salt
  • Crumbled bacon and goat cheese (optional, as an accompaniment)
  1. Preheat the grill to high. Cut each leek in half lengthwise and rinse thoroughly to remove all dirt and sand. Pat dry.
  2. Brush the cut side of each leek half with the bacon drippings and sprinkle with kosher salt.
  3. Grill over direct, high heat, cut side down, with lid closed, approximately 6 to 7 minutes or until grill marks appear.
  4. Remove the leeks to a sheet of aluminum foil and lay cut side up. Brush the leeks with balsamic vinegar.
  5. Reassemble the leek halves together, wrap tightly in foil, and set back on the grill away from direct heat for 10 to 12 minutes.
  6. Remove the leeks from the foil and serve immediately, as is or with crumbled bacon and goat cheese.

Walnut Shrimp

3 LB peeled shrimp (large)
1 LB all-purpose flour
4 OZ potato starch
3 OZ oil
1 OZ baking powder
8 OZ water
16 OZ mayonnaise
4 OZ condensed milk
Juice of 1 lemon
Walnuts (toasted, and sweetened or salted)

Mix the flour, potato starch, oil, baking powder and water to create the batter for the shrimp.  Allow the mixture to rest for 2 to 3 hours before use.  Mix the mayonnaise, condensed milk and lemon juice well just before cooking and set aside.

Coat the peeled shrimp in the batter and fry in oil until golden brown and cooked through.  Toss the cooked shrimp together with the mayonnaise sauce a sprinkle the walnuts on top.

Pause For Thought.

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are.”

– H. L. Mencken, Smart Set (December 1919)

Goblins In The Night.

So, there we are, Sweets and I snuggled together in bed — she, sound asleep, and me just slipping past the stage of dozing lightly and into a sound slumber.  My arm and leg are draped over her, we’re all cozy and warm.

Suddenly, Sweets sits bolt upright, sloughing me off to the side, and turns her head toward the big window behind our bed, a look of concern on her face.  I’m instantly awake — my heart is beating fiercely in my chest, my adrenaline glands go from zero to full production in a split second.  I’m ready for action.

“What?  You ok?  What is it?” I ask.

“Oh.  Nothing.” she replies, and promptly lay back down and instantly falls back to sleep, snoring softly.

For the next forty-five minutes I toss and turn, straining my ears to hear even the faintest footfall outside the window.  Listening to the sounds of the sleeping house trying to detect something amiss.  Checking, double checking, and checking again that the red light on the alarm control panel was lit, signifying that the sensors were on and waiting for some intruder.

She remembers nothing of it.  Has a good laugh when I tell her.  Me too, to be honest.  It was pretty funny, now that I’m an evening and a few hours of sleep away from it.  Better to chase goblins, than to miss their presence when they arrive.

Snow Down A Little.

Ok, Son of the South be damned, snow still holds some sort of magical sway over me.  Used to be I’d see it once every 10 years or so in NOLA, and it wasn’t a very overachieving form of snow… small flakes that didn’t softly pile up on the ground, but instead elbowed the flakes below them into “almost sleet”.

Last year in Austin I was witness to a proper snow.  Big fluffy puffballs of pocket lint, gracefully and slowly poking Galileo in the eye by bringing air friction into the mix and gently moseying down to the ground to gather into downy piles.

Tonight I had the strange fortune of driving through that same sort of snow.  The temperature today started at a high of 79 degrees, and plummeted to 32 in a matter of six hours, bringing rain with it.  The rain, ever the ambitious one, moved on to become pea sized hail, then promptly lost its motivation and became rain again.  After picking Sweets up from school the hail started again, then rapidly became little soft blurs in my headlights that I realized was snow.  Big, proper fluffy snow again.  And I was driving it it.  Trying desperately to pay attention to the road because all I wanted to do was focus on the snow as it blew through the arcs of the streetlights.

Ok, so snow is no big deal… to anyone who lives outside of this temperate region of the South.  We have three and a half seasons down here, and none of them include the need for chains on tires (unless you want that extra traction for offroading).  And a snow shovel is used to pick up after the horses in the parades.

It was fun and novel, and I get to feel like a kid again making mud angels (I didn’t say it accumulated much on the ground, now did I… you just get to enjoy it floating through the air).

I leave you with a picture of our mailbox.