You have to keep fighting, every damned minute of every damned day.  That’s what life is, a fight till the death.  You have to scratch, eye-gouge, throw elbows and knees and fight with every dirty trick you know.  Some days its easy, you can do it without thinking, some days it takes every last drop of your spirit to keep from blacking out from the blows.  You will win some brawls, and you’ll be spitting your teeth out like sunflower seeds other times… but you keep.  On.  Fighting.

I’m finally stating to catch up on my pictures a bit.  I’ve added the last four cakes that I’ve created to the Cake Gallery.  Have a look-see.  Don’t forget to check out the video of the bleeding Dismembered cake.

I just want to go and do something entertaining that doesn’t involve me staring at the walls of this quiet, empty apartment.  I just want some company — some laughs, some drinks, maybe a meal — to forget that the only thing keeping the silence at bay is the squawk of the TV.  I don’t want pity, I want camaraderie… preferably somewhere out there, in the wide world.

Sometimes it works out.  Sometimes the world conspires against me to make it fail.  There are even times when I’m in a room full of people and I feel like I’ve surrounded myself with cardboard cutouts of familiar faces… and when I’ve reached that point, nothing is going to help.

Lots happening these days, details not forthcoming.  Not here, not now, maybe not ever.  We shall see.

Regardless, suffice to say there are hard times upon me right now and it’s damned hard to get out of bed in the morning.  Motivators are few and far between, with no rewards in sight.  My only peace of mind comes from the friends that have surrounded me and are lavishing their love upon me.  I appreciate it  more than I can ever put into words, and I can only hope I can repay even a fraction of that kindness in my lifetime.  Their displays of tenderness have left me wanting to be a better person.  Of course, I’ll still be a well-rounded asshole, but I’ll be an asshole with a big heart.

So, wiser men than I have spake — spoke, spook, sploke… aw, hell.  It’s been said that music can help heal that which wounds us.  I’ve been listening to a lot of Cowboy Mouth lately.  I’ve always said that Fred LeBlanc has some voodoo, black magic way of writing songs that look into your heart and strike at the very root of what ails you.  He’s also a hell of a informal spokesperson for the Living Life And Loving It movement… there are some serious “life can suck, so make the most out of it while you can” type songs in the Cowboy Mouth library.  I find that no matter how down and out I get, there are just some songs that can lift me up and make me get on with my life.  Cowboy Mouth is the antibiotic helping to heal my soul right now.  I present to you an example (likely the first of many) of what got my ass moving today:

Glad To Be Alive
(Uno, Dos, Tres)
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
La da da de da da da
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
La da da de da da da

Anybody can be sad
Can’t see the good when it goes bad
Then you end up blue and through
But that’s all right

Got my share of people who love me
Got my share of problems that bug me
Every now and then its hard
But that’s all right

How many times have we been here before?

When you’re walking down the street
Feel the rhythm in your feet
Of a life that’s rushing by
Are you glad to be alive?

Nothing ever goes as planned
Get your head out of your hand
Scream and shout like you were five
Are you glad to be alive?

Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
La da da de da da da

Some times you gotta’ sneak in the back door
You can’t always get what you ask for
But what you need you got inside
And that’s all right

How many times have you been here before?
So pick your sorry ass up off the floor!

When you’re walking down the street
Feel the rhythm in your feet
Of a life that’s rushing by
Are you glad to be alive?

Nothing ever goes as planned
Get your head out of your hand
Scream and shout like you were five
Are you glad to be alive?

Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
La da da de da da da

So that’s my story
Tis sad but true
For those who know me
What else are we to do?

When you’re walking down the street
Feel the rhythm in your feet
Of a life that’s crashing by
Are you glad to be alive?

Nothing ever goes as planned
Get your head out of your hand
Scream and shout like you were five
Are you glad to be alive?

Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
La da da de da da da
(Are you glad to be alive?)

Doo doo n’doo doo doo
(When you’re walking down the street)
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
Doo doo n’doo doo doo
(Feel the rhythm in your feet)
La da da de da da da
(Are you glad to be alive?)

La da da de da da da
Doo doo n’doo doo doo

It’s a bit of a pop-ish number, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t cut to the heart of things — shit’s gonna go wrong, you get to feel bad about it for a while but don’t let it ruin you… celebrate and enjoy life, make and cherish the good times — the power is inside of you.  That’s what I’m talking about.  That’s what I need right now.  This is a philosophy I can get behind!

Fred kicks Tony Robbin’s ass up and down the block as a motivational figure.

This ought to hold you over until I can get a proper post up.  Some linkage for your delight:

• 50 ways to make this Halloween an unusual departure from past ones.
  "19.) Don’t hand out candy!  Hand out bees!"
• For all of you who like ’em a little big up top. *NSFW*
• Motivational posters for Super-Villains.
• The Ronald McHummer Sign-O-Matic.  Ok, it’s supposed to be a passive-aggressive way to give McDonald’s the finger for selling it’s soul to an eco-destroying auto manufacturer, but damn if it isn’t just as good for me to make up some funny shit like this, this (or this) and this.  In fact, I want to see some of the funny crap y’all come up with.

A pleasant Saturday afternoon and evening found us at an Austin tavern eating and drinking.  With the exception of going to see an aerial ballet performed on the site of a building under construction (all five floors being utilized), we pretty much spent most of the day at Opal Divine’s.

As the evening progressed I started taking pictures using only the ambient light on the patio, which was extensively lit with red and green floodlights.  I also took quite a number of pics of traffic passing in front of the bar, being a sucker for the look of headlight streaks on a still background.  Here are a few of my favorites from the evening.

Now, somewhere in the black mountain hills of Dakota there lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon, and one day his woman ran off with another guy… hit young Rocky in the eye.  Rocky didn’t like that.  He said "I’m gonna’ get that boy."

So, one day he walked into town, booked himself a room in the local saloon.  Rocky Raccoon checked into his room only to find Gideon’s bible.  Rocky had come equipped with a gun, to shoot off the legs of his rival.  His rival it seems had broken his dreams… by stealing the girl of his fancy.

Her name was McGill and she called herself "Lil"… but everyone knew her as "Nancy".  Now she and her man who called himself "Dan" were in the next room at the hoedown.  Rocky burst in, and grinning a grin he said "Danny boy, this is a showdown."  But Daniel was hot — he drew fast and shot — and Rocky collapsed in the corner.

Now, the doctor came in stinking of gin and proceeded to lie on the table.  He said "Rocky you met your match."

And Rocky said "Doc it’s only a scratch, and I’ll be better — I’ll be better Doc as soon as I am able."

Now Rocky Raccoon, he fell back in his room only to find Gideon’s bible.  Gideon checked out — and he left it no doubt — to help with good Rocky’s revival.