Author: DmentD

My Sweet Girl Is South Africa Bound.

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My girl leaves this weekend for a month long excursion at a game reserve in South Africa, working with conservationists and learning ranger skills.  This trip has been in the works for a while, and zoology and animal behavior studies come a close second behind the culinary arts for what would have been her primary field (to the point where she started with animal behavior before shifting to culinary).

She is one of the most courageous people I know.  She’s following a dream, and embarking on an adventure of her own choosing and design.  Sure, she’s nervous as hell, but who wouldn’t be, really?  The fact remains that she is doing it.  I’m proud of her, and inspired as well.  She has accomplished more for herself at this point in her life than folks ten years (and more) her senior.  She doesn’t seem to see it, but I do, and I strive to remind her of it as frequently as I can.

Good luck, safe journey, and all my love, Sweets.  Take care, and know that I’ll be thinking of you every moment of every day.

I’m On My Waaaaaaay, Home Sweeeeeeet Hoooooome!

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Leaving for the long (but blissfully less expensive, and affording me more time with my girl) car trip to the airport in about *checks watch* 6½ hours.  Heading to bed in a little bit, and if everything goes off as planned by the lovely airline, I should be in the air ’round noonish GMT.

See you kids Sunday evening.  Any mishaps and I’ll get in contact with the proper folks.

Manchester, England Englaaaaaand!

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The flight went off without a hitch, and DAMN, I am never flying on a long trip again unless it is business (first) class.  I was bumped up after the first flight fiasco, and holy crap! is it nice to fly while sitting in a recliner with a private TV and plenty of leg room, noise canceling headphones, a five course meal, free booze (wine with dinner, port with fruit and cheese (brie!) for dessert), and being waited on hand and foot like royalty.  It is absolutely worth the extra money.  Hell, I’m going to see if I can’t pay to upgrade myself for the flight back.

Made it to Manchester, the train ride was absolutely fantastic (take note America, you too could have an above ground rail system that is perfectly good public transportation and doesn’t smell like piss!) with great scenery the whole way.  Was met at the station by my girl, and managed to fight off the mild jet-lag for most of the rest of the day and get to bed at what I would consider a normal time (while only dozing off on the sofa while lying in her lap and snoring myself awake, once or twice).

Had a nice walk around town and to the local castle ruins (lots of pictures).  A good lunch (a full “English Breakfast”, and Fado’s has it fairly close to right).  Back at the house now.

I’ll update more later, for now, I’m going back to my girl.

Still At Lanta.

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Here I sit, broken hearted. Came to fly, but ain’t departed.

Soooo, at the last minute, last night the plane developed mechanical problems. They strung us along till 1:00am, then rebooked us all automatically to a new, added for our benefit, flight today. They gave us food and hotel vouchers, and sent us on our way.

Here I sit again, waiting for my third attempt to leave the country to fail.

At Lanta.

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So, here I sit moldering in the Atlanta airport.  It was shut down for two hours due to severe weather on Friday… my travel day, and I missed my connecting flight to Manchester airport in England. Lots of heartache later (blog post forthcoming), and I end up staying the night at a roach motel nearby — at least it was better than sleeping at the airport.  I rebooked the flight last night before I left, and I’m on the identical flight today, unfortunately it doesn’t leave till 8:25pm.  They did, however, bump me to business class, so I’ll at least be a bit more comfortable.

What a fucking nightmare.  At least the weather looks good, and I have no connecting flights.  So, I just have 6 hours to kill.  Hope this one works out.

P.S. — Jeebus bless BlackBerry and an internet connection!  I can keep in contact with folks, and post blog entries as I sit here growing moss.

Anniversary Time.

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Two years.  It’s been two years since that willful, pushy broad Katrina came to town and trashed the place, behaving for all the world like she owned it.  She overflowed the tub, she smashed in walls, participated in willful and wanton destruction of property and basically pissed everyone off and ruined the party.  She was a major buzz kill, and lots of folks just went away to get as far from her as possible.

So what are my feelings two years after my life and the lives of nearly everyone I know was turned upside down? After a hurricane rolled in and caused my home and many others to be destroyed, taking most of my possessions and tangible memories with it?  That’s not an easy question to answer.

On the one hand, I’m living in a place where I feel moderately safe and comfortable… definitely safer than NOLA.  I’m rebuilding a life, certainly not the life I had before — too much has changed for that to ever be the same again — and stepping outside of myself, I can see it’s not a bad life.  I have a good job, making good money.  I have friends around me and we offer each other comfort, love and distractions.  I have a roof over my head, with the prospect of having my own home again (now that the house in NOLA has finally sold).  I have a wonderful girl far, far away who I am nuts for and who is nuts for me, and there is the very real possibility that she will be coming here in the future to continue her training and be with me.

On the other hand, I still feel like a bit of an outsider in this wonderful town… even two years later.  NOLA will always be my home.  I can’t shake the feeling that either this is temporary, or that the other shoe will drop and a tornado or other devastating occurrence will rip everything from me again.  I have a cadre of friends from NOLA that relocated here and they are wonderful, fantastic, and absolutely what I needed to help keep my sanity the last two years.  But I’ve left so many behind that are either unwilling or incapable of relocation — and I miss you all dearly… if you fail to hear from me, I suspect it’s a defense mechanism that keeps me from dwelling on how lonely I can be without the rest of you around.  I’m chomping at the bit to buy a house, but at the same time the thought of losing it all again is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.  The job I have is wonderful — I enjoy the work, I really like my coworkers, and frankly as ‘political’ as the environment can be, it’s nothing compared to the outright hatred and malice for the IT Department I experienced working for that place in the ass-end of nowhere in Louisiana… but the passion isn’t there and I feel I could be doing something else, like making cakes, that would give me much more satisfaction.  The passion I did have for being creative and working with my hands seems to have drowned in the waters that flooded my home, but I suspect that will come back when I have a home again, and a space to work in that is all my own.  And as for my far away girl, well, all I can say is that I’ve taken one very real and agonizing blow to the heart since the storm and I live in fear that it’ll happen again — but I’m never going to let that stop me giving my all.

I’ve made a peace with the losses in my life: from the very sudden one two years ago, to the gradually onset one more recently.  I found equilibrium, healed myself to the best of my ability and moved on.  That doesn’t stop me from feeling uneasy or sad — the sadness isn’t a longing for what was that I can never have again, but more a twinge in my heart at the fond memories and what has passed.  That doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty — guilt for vanishing when I could have returned to help rebuild, for creating a void in the lives of those who love me and stayed behind.  Call it survivor’s guilt, but I am trying to survive.

So, two years later I’m living and making a life.  What else can I do?  This life is worth living, no matter how bad it may seem at times — and since it’s worth living, it’s worth living to the fullest.  I’ve been purged and cleansed by the floodwaters; I only hope there is fertile soil to rebuild on.

Whole Lotta Caking Going On.

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Whoa nelly!  Finally added the latest batch of cakes to the Cake Gallery.  There are eight (8) new cakes in there… I, um, was quite lax about adding the cakes as I went along, and, um, well, I kinda, sorta just got around to adding them… so only a few of these are the “latest” batch.  The rest are just catch-up.

But, they are in there now, and that catches me up on posting all my cake pictures.  Whew!  That’s a lotta’ damn work.

Go.  Now.  Enjoy!

Distracted Losers, And The Lonely Bodies They Leave In Their Wake.

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Man, I will be the first to admit I am the absolute worst at keeping touch with folks.  It’s shameful that I think of my family and friends quite often, but never think to sit down and email or call… and that’s what it boils down to, I don’t think about it.  I burn so many brain cells at work, spending them to very intensely focus on the projects and problems I am working on, that by the time I get home, I’m ready to not think about anything.  I check my email, respond to the things that float into my attention there and then move on to the autonomic tasks at hand: during the week I cook dinner, on the weekends I’m usually out doing something that doesn’t involve sitting in front of a computer all day.  Add to that the fact that I’m in the gym in the morning doing cardio, and back there again three evenings a week, and you’ve got one tired and distracted me.

*this entry was swiped from an email I wrote to my brother