Author: DmentD

Bouncing Cherries.

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I’m making cherry bounce — haven’t done that in about four years.  I’m making two small batches, one using brandy (which was what I used when I made it before), and one using bourbon.  Bourbon is the traditional booze for bounce in the South, so I thought I’d give it a try and have a side-by-side tasting.  Of course, I’m not making completely traditional bounce because I can only get bing cherries, and not the black cherries that grow back home (and if any of you folks back home have, or know someone who has black cherry trees on their property, let me know… that’s worth a trip home all by itself, just to harvest them for bounce).

The recipe, and my notes, are now in the database.  Have a peek HERE.  If you’re looking to make some for Thanksgiving or Christmas, you better start now.  Cherries will be out of season before long, and right now Sam’s has an awesome price on them.

Is This Thing On?

DmentD3 Comments

*opens the stage door and steps out in front of the brightly burning lights*
*brushes the cobwebs from the microphone and taps it to make sure it is still live*
*shades his eyes with his hand to see if there is even anyone in the audience*
*shrugs and takes a deep breath*

So, here I am again after *looks down at the previous post* three months, and a patchy record of posts before that.  A lot has transpired in that amount of time.  A LOT.  Let me endeavor to fill in on some the comings and goings, and in no particular order:

» Lady and I are officially divorced.

It was mutually agreeably and uncontested. But… we are still very, very good friends.  After nearly eighteen years together as a couple neither of us wanted to abandon the deep, abiding friendship we started at the beginning and forged all through our years together.  We still love and respect one another, and care deeply for the other as one friend to another.  We worked very hard to preserve that, and I think we’ve succeeded.  People find this very strange indeed, but we figure that the only people who need to be cool with it is her and me.

» I finally got off my ass and into gear.

I have been steadily going to the gym and weightlifting since October of last year.  I added cardio to my routine a month ago, and I’ve been adjusting my food intake to a more reasonable level, cooking more at home and bringing lunch to work.  I’m still very hesitant to talk about health and exercise on the blog, as every time I have mentioned it in the past I seemed to have jinxed myself and fucked up my plans.  I’m not going to go into great detail here on the intartubes, but suffice to say that I’m slowly and steadily changing my shape.  No miracle stories to tell, and it’s a lot of hard, tedious exercise, but that was the realization I finally came to and accepted it.

» I’m happier and better adjusted than I have been in quite a while.

I’m not saying that I’m a perfect angel, content and sitting in my own little radiating pool of joy and wonderfulness, but the crushing depression and loneliness are like a fading bruise: still evident but gradually becoming a thing of the past.  I realized recently that if I have one skill or talent that defines me, it is the capacity to take things apart, find out how they work… and if broken, figure out how to fix them and put them back together.  It is the core of my nickname “Stuff” that I have the tools and aptitude to do this with anything I lay my hands on — computers, electronics, woodworking, cars, sculpting, etc. — and I did it, unknowingly, to myself… and plan to continue doing it till the end of my days.  I disassembled myself and figured out what was making me hurt, causing such pain and anguish and… well I’m figuring out how to fix that.

I’ve worked very hard to be an independent, self-reliant person, especially in an emotional capacity.  I’m learning how to be happy with myself, and for myself.  It’s easy to latch on to another person (or people) and make them the core of your joy.  It’s so much simpler to lean on others, to derive your emotional comfort from them rather than seeking it in yourself.  Once you can be comfortable and happy just being you, its so much more rewarding to compound your joy by adding someone else to the equation (if you so choose)… and it takes the overwhelming burden off their shoulders to be the wellspring of everything in your life that is good.  And it also takes away the desperate, choking need to have another in your life and allows you to relax and appreciate the world around you.  And on that note…

» There is a girl who lives far away that makes me very, very happy.

Those who know me know I never take the easy path when there is something worth doing.  I am apparently consistent with this in my romantic life too.  Through means and circumstances too convoluted to bother with here — let’s just say “we met on the internet” and leave it at that modern day cliché — I have become well acquainted with a charming, beautiful girl who lives 5000 miles and an ocean away from me.  She has the sweetest English accent, the loveliest curves, and I am completely smitten… so is she by all accounts.  She’s smart as a whip, sarcastic (read: a smartass), and she likes my shenanigans.  She’s a breath away from a culinary degree — waiting for the ink to dry on the certificate — and has a specialty interest in patisserie (that’s French pastry to you and me) and cakes.  Yes, cakes.  Her goal is to open her own patisserie and cake shop.  I keep trying to convince her there is a ripe market for it in Austin, and I happen to know an amateur specialty cake maker who would be very interested in assisting her with that endeavor.

She has come to visit me, and we spent a blissfully wonderful week together.  I am going to visit her in September (provided the passport I applied for two months ago ever arrives).  Neither of us knows for sure where we’re going with all of this, but we like the road we’re traveling, so we’re content to stay on it.  Even from 5000 miles away we contribute to each others happiness.  That’s an awesome thing.

» Took a trip to northern California.

Went with Team Dandy and Lady to get the native’s tour.  Had a lovely time, will have to make a separate post about this… too much to say, and I have tons of pictures I can add.  Stay tuned.

That, er, is about all I can think of in this sitting… like you aren’t thinking “that’s plenty, you long winded bastard.”  I make no promises, but I’m feeling inclined to post these days.  My life has leveled out of the steep nose dive it had taken, and I’m feeling comfortable in my own skin again.  I’m also famously horrible at keeping in touch with my friends and family (yeah, I’m a terrible thuggish imbecile that I can’t even do that), and this at least will help scratch that itch.

Onward and upward.  Whee!

Vonnegone.

DmentD2 Comments

Kurt Vonnegut passed away on April 11 — he was one of my favorite authors.  Even though I’ve been reading his work since I was very young, in the last decade or so he has had a profound influence on the way I’ve been shaping my world view (and still am to this day).  He was a Humanist, and as such has a philosophy that had become particularly inspiring to me over the years when presented through his fiction and non-fiction works.  I’ll let Kurt explain in his own words:

“Do you know what a Humanist is? I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that functionless capacity. We Humanists try to behave well without any expectation of rewards or punishments in an afterlife. We serve as best we can the only abstraction with which we have any real familiarity, which is our community.

We had a memorial services for Isaac a few years back, and at one point I said, “Isaac is up in Heaven now.” It was the funniest thing I could have said to a group of Humanists. I rolled them in the aisles. It was several minutes before order could be restored. And if I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, ‘Kurt is up in Heaven now.’ That’s my favorite joke.”

And from Hocus Pocus (1990)

“I have looked up who the Freethinkers were. They were members of a short-lived sect, mostly of German descent, who believed, as did my Grandfather Wills, that nothing but sleep awaited good and evil persons alike in the Afterlife, that science had proved all organized religions to be baloney, that God was unknowable, and that the greatest use a person could make of his or her lifetime was to improve the quality of life for all in his or her community.”

I reread his novels frequently.  Every few years I’ll go the full cycle and start again.  His are some of the few books I will reread with this soft of frequency.  While his writing tended to be dark and humorous, it also had a tendency to build characters that could, and had to, stand on their own and face the horrors that plagued them with as much grace as they could muster.  Without knowing it, I was being taught a number of very important lessons, and only recently have I been able to see them for what they are.

I won’t say that Vonnegut’s passing has come as a shock… a surprise, yes, shock no.  He’d been complaining for years that he was pissed that smoking hadn’t killed him with cancer yet, and that he was going to sue the R.J. Reynolds company for false advertising, because it says plainly on the box that his Pall Malls would cause cancer.  I had expected him to kill himself before too long, and the unfortunate fact is, he fell and sustained head trauma that eventually just shut him off like a switch weeks later.  Such a shame.  Such a morbid way to go for a man who prized his intelligence.

Still, I’m sad to see him go.

Kurt is up in Heaven now.

Quick, Dirty… Undead.

DmentD

Another quick post, another link.  I promise, some real content is coming.  Eventually.

You guys know I’m a sucker for zombies.  Liberally mix in a little humor and I’m orgasmic (Shawn of the Dead, anyone?).  Stumbled across a new on-line comic called Hockey Zombie (link pops to the first comic).  How can you not like something with dialog like this:

Kurt: I can’t believe you had sex with a zombie!
Chris: I just pretended she was deaf and mean.
Kurt: You didn’t even use protection, did you?!
Chris: She said she was on the pill!
Chris: I’m all like “Jeez lady… I’m not into that Marv Albert shit” … and she’s all “UNG!  UNG!”

Read.  Enjoy.  G’fuckyerselves.

Recipes Are For Eating.

DmentD4 Comments

Been trying to really get into micro-managing my food intake the last week or so in an effort to change my eating habits for the better, and to be able to get to a point in the foreseeable future where I can do that without thinking too hard about it.  As a result I’ve been developing/reworking (reworking = stealing from another source and adapting to my liking) some recipes that I can use to keep my weekly meal plan lively and not a bore.  I’ve been adding the few that I have to the Recipe Library, and as a result anyone interested can benefit from my hard work.  I list the number of servings and the big 4 macro nutrients (calories, fats, carbohydrates and proteins) in the body of the recipe for reference.

The first two to make it in are Teriyaki Chicken and Scallop Stir-Fry.  If you want to easily find the specific recipes I’m adding for meal planning, just do a search for “calorie” and select “instructions”.

Enjoy.

Philosofossil.

DmentD1 Comment

Learn from the past, look to the future, enjoy the present.

That’s what I’m trying to do, trying to teach myself… there are worse ways to go about living your life, and a little self-improvement isn’t a bad thing.

Another thing that I’ve known, but never really understood until recently is that happiness isn’t necessarily something handed to you on a silver platter, it’s something you have to work for.  Which makes it that much sweeter when you can have it and can maintain it.  The status quo isn’t specifically unhappiness, but it takes no effort to be miserable.  That’s like the cheap plastic keyring you win at the carnival just for playing the game.  You really have to knuckle down and work hard to win that stuffed 6′ tall pink teddy bear on the back wall — the pinnacle of the carny prize pool.  As my favorite philosopher says:

“Easy to bitch, easy to whine, easy to moan, easy to cry, easy to feel like there ain’t nothing in your life.  Harder to work, harder to strive, harder to be glad to be alive… but its really worth it if you give it a try.”

– Fred LeBlanc

I’m trying, dear Fred, I’m trying.  I’ve been working my ass off to be happy and I think its been paying off.  Not huge sums, but at least tiny dividends and that’s a good start.  I’m not completely miserable all the time, I’m actually maintaining a pretty good demeanor with brief periods of backsliding (AngerMan bubbles to the surface and I try to keep him in check).

Also, it appears that these two guys were separated at birth:

Morissentences.

DmentD6 Comments

I’m broke but I’m happy, I’m poor but I’m kind… I’m short but I’m healthy.  Yeah.  I’m high but I’m grounded.  I’m sane (but I’m overwhelmed!), I’m lost — but I’m hopeful baby.  What it all comes down to is that every thing’s gonna be fine, fine, fine… I’ve got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five.

I feel drunk but I’m sober.  I’m young and I’m underpaid: I’m tired but I’m working (yeah?).  I care but I’m worthless, I’m here… but I’m really gone.  I’m wrong, and I’m sorry baby.  What it all comes down to is that every thing’s gonna be quite alright — I’ve got one hand in my pocket and the other one is flicking a cigarette.

What it all comes down to is that I haven’t got it all figured out just yet.  I’ve got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving the peace sign.

I’m free but I’m focused.  I’m green, but I’m wise.  I’m shy… but I’m friendly baby.

I’m sad but I’m laughing, I’m brave but I’m chicken shit.  I’m sick but I’m pretty baby.  And what it all boils down to is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet: I’ve got one hand in my pocket and the other one is playing the piano.

What it all comes down to my friends is that every thing’s just fine.  Fine.  FINE!  I’ve got one hand in my pocket (and the other one is hailing a taxicab).

Welcome To The Pity Party, I Hope You Brought The Chips.

DmentD2 Comments

Prepare to be uncomfortable.  Feel free to look at your shoes, I don’t expect eye contact.

I’m a little drunk, I’m a little amorous, and I’m very alone.  I seem to quote a lot these days, so here’s to Meatloaf: “Two out of three ain’t bad”.

I got no one to snuggle, to keep me warm, to be there in the morning when I wake up.  Hooray!  Ain’t life grand.  The house is quiet and I have an empty bed to rock me to sleep.  You want the definition of misery, this is it.  Look it up in the dictionary, there’s a lovely picture of me… showing my good side too!

And tomorrow is another day.  Likely this will pass, and I’ll be fine for a few days.  Resilient, that’s me.  I always bounce back, except that I feel like a damned yo-yo these days.  Stamp “Duncan” on my ass and make sure my string isn’t wound too tight or it might snap.

The Avenue.

DmentD3 Comments

I stumbled across a site today that is the home of a photographer who captures the historic architecture of St. Louis.  He made a pass through New Orleans late in 2006 and did a pictorial architecture tour called On The Road In New Orleans.

These photographs simultaneously made me more homesick than I have been in a year, and broke my heart.  As I sat there scrolling through the images, I could tell you almost precisely where every one was taken, from which corner and what you would see if you turned your head left or right.  I saw landmarks that I took for granted for over thirty years of my life.  I saw pictures of a city that made my heart skip a beat for the longing to return and put down stakes again.

Within most of these pictures, I saw destruction and decay.  I saw a city that had been abandoned by all but the hearts of those who have no other choice than to stay and pick up what pieces they can — a city that care forgot.  There were images to remind me why I choose not to go back, a city ravaged by crime, corruption and filth — plagues that existed before I was born but have been magnified and brought into sharp relief by a catastrophe.  I fear every day for the health and safety of the family and friends who remain there.  I wait for that call, the one to tell me someone I know has been robbed and killed, or hit by a stray bullet.  I read the local news every day and wonder why they haven’t burned most of the city down and bulldozed the ashes flat to make way for a brighter future.

New Orleans is where I was born and raised — it’s in my blood, heart and soul.  I don’t know that I will ever return, though… certainly not for a very long while.  But no matter where I live, no matter where I plant a flag and claim as my own, I’ll always be from New Orleans.  Like Fred LeBlanc says “It’s so hard to take this hurt and hide it on a shelf, it’s just cause I never want to be from somewhere else.”