This is a long read, so pop some corn, get a drink and make yourself comfortable.

So after the whiz-bang fireworks of being downsized, the fact remained that I was unemployed.  Needless to say I wasn’t pleased about the whole situation (to my knowledge nobody likes to get fired from a job they more or less enjoy), but I’m a reasonable and intelligent person.  I’d been through this once before ten years back when I was a contractor for the State — I came back from my honeymoon to find out my contract wasn’t renewed… and to think, I didn’t even send them a "thank-you" card for their lovely gift.  I freaked out then, but I was determined to not freak out this time.

Hard times are a fact of life.  They come in many forms, some more painful than others — the death of a father or a brother for example — losing a decent job is pretty easy in comparison.  They come with increasing frequency as you get older.  It’s how you deal with them and escape in the end that molds you.  You can let it tear you down like a house of cards or you can weather the storm and patch up the broken bits after the wind has ebbed and the sun has come from behind the clouds.  That is where strength and maturity comes from… learning how to semi-gracefully shovel away the shit that gets dumped on you from time to time.  That is not to say one shouldn’t be upset about these things, just don’t let it ruin your life.  As I am all too fond of saying (and I’m sure that lots of folks are tired of hearing it): "this too shall pass."

After spending a few days gathering my thoughts and steeling myself for one of the things I most hate in life, I went about the inevitable task of looking for gainful employment.  I polished up the ‘ol resume and started spamming it to the people who professed a need for someone of my accumulated skills.  Jebus, I hate having to sell myself to someone who needs a pigeon to stuff into a very specifically created pigeonhole.

I have no formal technical education and the barest of professional certifications, but by-god I am good at what I do.  Most employers like to hedge their bets and hire someone who has shown the gumption to go to and graduate from a four-year institution.  That demonstrates (theoretically) irrefutable proof that they have some of the basic skills they need — reading comprehension, writing, basic math and hopefully something pertaining to the field they are hiring for — rather than putting all their eggs into an interview or two and hoping for the best.  There are many fields that this is not so bad, aerospace engineering for example, but others that it’s a bit of a waste.  I’m quite sure that my resume was round-filed quite a few times after it was seen I didn’t have a degree, regardless of the fact that I have over thirteen combined years of experience in the field of computers and network administration.

There have been a few interviews, one of them went moderately well but never resulted in a call-back and another one was like taking the SAT… very formal, with little room for personality and I actually had to grade my own skills on specific topics on a scale of 1 to 5.  Frankly, I’m sick and tired of the whole thing, but the unemployment payments will only last for so long, they aren’t all that much to begin with and frankly the whole system is a cluster-fuck (that is material for another post altogether).

So, I get a call the morning of a particularly dismal interview.  Someone I know rather well has need for some technical work, and since I have the time on my hands would I like to get paid to do it?  Damn right I would.  While en-route to the site I feel myself slipping back into the old comfortable mode of site-technician, like putting on a metaphor you found in the back of the plot-device and hadn’t worn for three years.  A cozy and nicely broken-in metaphor that still fits astoundingly well.  Shockingly, I missed this kind of work.

I did site consulting for a local tech shop for nigh onto nine years and I was good at it.  I left the job for another that afforded my own desk, phone and computer — I could have roots and a place to call my own that nobody could boot me off of to use for their own during the course of the day, and a boss that basically wasn’t laughing in my face every time I asked for a raise while pointing out that I was his top and most requested tech that remained booked for well over two weeks in advance.  I would have special responsibilities and servers and stations that were part of my kingdom.  Eventually I had two of my best pals working beside me, and I had a part in helping them get the jobs that they seemed to enjoy.  I loved that job, I really did.  It wasn’t without its problems, nor was it the dream environment I was promised, but it wasn’t too bad in spite of all that.

But…

Without knowing it, I also missed going to a customer’s site and bringing down the Hammer Of Justice on any technical problems they were having.  I enjoyed building new networks from the ground up.  I loved being assaulted by new and interesting challenges on a daily basis.  It kept me sharp.  It kept me up-to-date.

By nature I’m a problem solver, I really enjoy being helpful to people, I’m a perfectionist and a jack-of-all-trades… all of which is an absolute must for technicians but in everyday life can be annoying as hell to everyone else as it makes me come across as an intrusive, pushy know-it-all.  I tell you all right now to "deal with it" because at one time or another everyone has come to me for help because of those same abilities (which I have obliged freely), and I genuinely mean no harm by my actions and behavior.  You love the perfectionist when he’s helping you, but when he needs help you bitch and moan because he’s so particular.  Suck it up.

Anyway, I felt the spark again.  Two weeks earlier (while still looking for a job), I had bemoaned the fact that I would love to go into business for myself, but I lacked the client base to pull it off.  No clients, no money, no way.  I have a house note and a multitude of other obligations that require me to be paid on a regular basis, and I promptly let the idea drop.  That day I went off to do the on-site consulting I had made up my mind… I was going to go for it.  I did a few calculations and was shocked.  I might be able to pull this off.

I am now self-employed.  I am a computer consultant and I will do business with home and commercial clients alike.  I can perform anything from the simplest repairs to the most complex network engineering.  My rates are quite competitive.  I am also asking you, my friends, to pimp me out to anyone and everyone you know: your boss, your co-workers, your professional contacts, your personal contacts, your brother, your mother, the guy at the coffee shop… anyone.  Contact me for details — I even have business cards now.

With the help of my friends, other professional contacts I have and the word-of-mouth of happy clients, I can build a solid client base and succeed at this.  I’ll have the best of both worlds — a desk, computer & phone all my own, and being able to go on-site and face the new challenges that make my blood sing.  I have no one to answer to but myself and I can work at the high level of integrity I enjoy.  It’s both a frightening and exhilarating prospect and I think I’m up for the challenge.

Time will tell.

I read an article a few weeks back about a do-it-yourself (henceforth known as "DIY") lasertag system.  The general upshot is this:

Don’t go to a polite, enclosed indoor establishment and use the crappy guns against even crappier opponents (mostly asshole kids) in a small, unchanging environment.  If you do you only get to play a non-goal oriented game for all of seven minutes at a time before you have to stop and ditch your randomly selected equipment and start all over again.  The only other options are to shell out big bucks for a "private party" after hours where you still use the crappy guns in the same unchanging environment, or buy an off-the-shelf system from Wal-Mart which is not only cheap in price, but cheap in construction, limited in features, range and looks like it should be featured on Sesame Street — the "Tickle Me Lasertag" system.

Instead, spend those extra bucks and build your own gun (hence the DIY part of the equation) with more sophisticated electronics and modeled after your favorite firearm, or even one that doesn’t exist (i.e. the Pulse rifle from Aliens).  You can even build specialty weapons like shotguns with a shorter range but a wider field of fire, pistols that are lighter and less cumbersome to carry, and sniper rifles with an incredible range.  Your arena can be wherever you are cleared to play, be it private property or public land (permission to be asked for and granted first, or course).  This can lend itself to urban assault scenarios, capture the flag, last man standing, etc. all in an expanded and sometimes dynamic environment.  Your co-players are all people serious and interested enough to build their own weapons, increasing the likelihood that your games will be fun and adventurous.

Think of it as paintball without all the pain, mess or recurring ammo charges.

I know what you’re thinking — "Oh great, BUILD my own gun?  How the hell do I do that?  I don’t know a soldering iron from a nine-iron."  Not to worry.  Much.  The system I’m most interested in is MilesTAG, which is based off of the US military’s M.I.L.E.S. wargame system.  It is open source and fairly popular in the DIY lasertag community.  Jim Robertson (the developer) is nice enough to provide the code and schematics that make the brain, heart and soul of the gun system for free — hence "open source" — and he is currently working on the fifth revision of the system now.  This is the one I am going for as there are a number of dramatic improvements implemented.  He has released the schematics but not yet the code, and that’s dandy because I have my plate full with just that.  I’m currently in the process of researching the proper materials and components to build the circuit, including a few improvements of my own.

What does this mean to you, my adventure loving cohorts?  Well, it means that I am willing to do all the homework and footwork towards building guns for DIY lasertag.  I have the capability to make custom circuit boards, I have connections with electronics providers and I have an uncanny knack for fabrication.  Ultimately it means that I will be building the circuits to create the guns around.

What this does NOT mean to you my opportunistic pals, is that I will not foot the bill for anyone to have a gun.  It does not mean that I am going to build your gun for you.  I am doing the hard part, the research and the circuitry.  I am more than willing to assist and partner in building your gun, but you are going to reimburse me for the cost of circuit materials and further, purchase the rest of the items yourself.  Sounds like a fair deal to me.

What this means to me is the possibility of a tremendous amount of fun, not only playing some homebrew lasertag but doing all the fiddly bits involved in actually building the weapons.  What this also means to me is another good reason to get together with my friends and have a good time.

The overall cost is minimal.  I’m trying to keep the circuit price below $75… closer to $50.  The cost of the gun itself is up to you and how elaborate you wish to make it.  Of course, I will accept any and all assistance with regard to circuit assembly and gun design when the time comes (and we’re still a little bit away from that).

I want to know your thoughts on this.  Am I spinning my wheels uselessly as nobody is interested in joining me in this endeavor?  Is this the coolest thing you’ve heard of this year and you’re on-board too?  You let me know.

This Saturday, March 19th, there will be not one, but two — count ’em, TWO — parties at the wHoReS.  Ok, it’ll be two parties back-to-back to make one stupendously big party, but two parties none the less.  And to top that, it’s a double birthday celebration, too!

We are celebrating (in an official manner) Mensa’s birthday, which was actually on Wednesday.  There will be the obligatory fun and mayhem involved, but it was originally scheduled for the evening.  Ghoti wanted to have a crawfish bug-boil on Saturday as well to help ring in Camille’s birthday (which is actually on Saturday), but that would have started earlier in the day.

So Ghoti (or some female genius who will be marrying him, but shall remain unnamed to keep her adoring fans away from her) came up with the idea to join the two and have the whole big shin-dig at the wHoReS.  So, there will be a span of daylight hours eating hard-shelled critters and chilling followed by an evening of hard drinking and shenanigans.

The festivities start at 12:00 noon.  Come dressed for warm/cold/dry/wet weather.  We do request that folks bring a little something to contribute to the shindig… soft drinks (Coke, Diet Coke and Barqs Root Beer), snacks or anything you deem appropriate.

We’ll see you miscreants there.

Yup.  Going STRAIGHT to hell for laughing at THIS.  Out loud.  And I snorted like a piggy.

Here’s a quickie for you: a late Victorian era guide on how to whup the crap out of someone using a walking stick, cane or umbrella.  Very martial arts-y for the time.

Part 1 and Part 2

I for one dig the illustrations.

*tap-tap*

Hello?  Is this thing on?  Can you hear me out there?

Good.  Now shut the fuck up.

Well, my little forced hiatus is over.  Due to technical and human interaction issues (which I shall not bother to go into because I’ve had a hell of a cheap ride for the last few years and therefore have very little to bitch about) the site was down and all but the SQL data was recoverable at the time of the downage.  Since the blog and all other dynamic content is stored that way it seemed a bit foolish to restore anything without it.

But…

Now that that all the data is in attendance and accounted for, I would seem to be back in business.  This is all courtesy of Mensa and his diligent efforts not only to reacquire his and my critical information, but also to give me a new digital home and to sort out the mechanics of getting everything to work properly at said home.  Bravo.  Now go fetch me some lemonade.

*ducks*

On the prior note, If anyone finds anything out of sorts, please let me know so’s I can remedy that ASAP.

Like Mensa pointed out on his site, I didn’t realize that I had so much to say until the means to say it went away.  But of course, the time to say some things has passed and therefore they shall fade into memory, that is until a particular bone gets stuck in my throat again and then I shall set loose the Dogs Of Whining… er, War.  Yeah, that’s what I meant.

C’est la vie.  The wheels of life continue to turn until such time as one goes flat.  Then the man of life must get out and change it while the woman of life bitches that he’s taking too long.  It is as it has always been.

Saturday, December 11th the wHoReS walk-in theatre will be showing Christmas-like movies starting at around 8:00pm.  A’yup, we’re pulling out the big screen in the back and viewing from the comfort of the patio.  Owing to the very unpredictable weather, I’d recommend coming prepared for cool, evening time temperatures (bring a blanket you can snuggle in) with an option to strip down to short sleeves and be comfortable if it ends up being warm.

Also — as an experiment — bring a radio (walkman, miniature FM tuner, whatever… as long as it has digital tuning controls) and a pair of headphones.  I’d like to try out the possibility of broadcasting the audio from the DVD to individual headsets for private listening.  We won’t end up using this for the evening, I just want to test it as an option for the future and would like to see how it works across a wide variety of radios.

Also also — on an unrelated note — I now have a recipe database on this site (mucho thanks to Mensa for the hard work).  Currently I have the full collection of my family recipes in there which my mother has worked very hard to preserve digitally for more years than I care to count.  This is the latest digital iteration and I get to share it with the world, more specifically my friends.  This will also — hopefully — be the most up-to-date rendition of any of these recipes.

I am also inviting everyone to submit their own recipes to add to the library to preserve them and to share them with others.  All recipes are subject to my (mostly cosmetic) tinkering and approval, but I’m pretty easy-going.  There is a submission form in the recipe section that you can use to do so.

Eventually, I hope to have a printing option that will let you generate 4×6" cards to place in your recipe box at home.  Eventually.

This Saturday, December 4th, is an official wHoReS event.  We will be decorating for Christmas and we would be thrilled to have our friends join us to do so.  If any of you, the (un)willing troops would care to lend a hand let me know, or hell just show up.  You all know the drill better than I do.

Merry X-Men and a happy New Mutant.

This weekend is when I go to procure the great orange victims.  Likely Saturday.  I need to get a feel for who is inclined to be in attendance the Friday before Halloween (October 29th) for our annual Pumpkin Carving Party.

If you are going to come and are interested in carving a pumpkin to show off at the big Halloween party, please let me know very soon so I can try and have enough for everyone.  I have all the weapons of destruction and patterns a pulpy murderer could hope for, but don’t let that stop you from bringing anything you feel you might need to make your life easier.  My only stipulation is this: no "cutesy" patterns on the pumpkins.  The Pumpkin Masters series of pattern books include at least one feline face pattern and a few goofy "let’s not frighten the children" patterns every year amongst the clever and downright cool looking ones — and I despise them.  I also might veto any pattern I remember having been used in recent history.  You are also free to bring your own patterns, once again subject to approval.  Jebus, I’m such a megalomaniacal whip cracker.

"We fancy men are individuals; so are pumpkins; but every pumpkin in the field goes through every point of pumpkin history"
    — Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Men are like pumpkins.  It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they’ve had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon."
    — Anonymous

October 1st is Friday, and marks the official start and observation of the Halloween season at the wHoReS.  Fiddy has so graciously let me burgle Friday night away from him, and being the selfish bastard that I am I am claiming the entire weekend — but for a good cause.

Everyone is invited to spend the entire weekend at the wHoReS.  Friday’s Halloween commencement starts at… er, well, whenever anyone wants to get there after 6:00pm.  We are inviting you, our friends, to the holiest of holies — the most sacred act of decorating the wHoReS for Halloween.  As Fiddy so succinctly put it "We’re going to Halloween the fuck out of your house."  Thank you, I’ve never heard anyone use Halloween as a verb before.  I’ll have to remember that.

Bring your jammies and sleeping gear, because once the house is in appropriate order the rest of the days are designated as a "Useless Turd Weekend".  Let me define that for anyone not familiar with this concept: being a useless turd means laying about in a dark, cool house watching movies, sleeping and basically re-charging your biological batteries & soul in a stress-free environment.  That is going to go on until we kick people out on Sunday. 

Folks are free to come and go as they please.  There’s plenty of nooks to put people in at the wHoReS, so don’t fear for sleeping space but sleeping bags, air-mattresses and blankets might be a good idea to bring along.  Also, seeing as the wHoReS is gearing up for a killer Halloween party later in the month, we are making this a commune-like BFE (Bring For Everyone) event.  Bring some munchies, drinks, alcohol and solid food to contribute to the communal eatery pile for this weekend.  Bring some cash because we’re likely to order pizza or venture out at some point for Chinese take-out and/or burgers (or other such delicacies).

We will start with the traditional The Nightmare Before Christmas (Jebus bless Tim Burton) and move on to other Halloween-ish movies (good, bad and cheesy movies… and good bad cheesy movies — there is a difference) until that theme gets voted off the island, and then we will resume with other entertaining media.  Bring any movies you think would be entertaining, but don’t be disappointed if they don’t get watched.  I have at least one or two flicks I need to inflict upon you people, so be prepared.

One final note, I pushed a perfectly good blog post off the radar to post this announcement — it’s the one directly below what you are reading here.  Don’t forget to read it before you go gallivanting off to other destinations on the InterWeb.  I hate to think that I wasted perfectly good time ranting and raving for your amusement only to never have it read.

Message ends.